These days, “therapy-speak” — the usage of clinical or psychological terms in everyday conversations — is an epidemic. Because pop culture is a reflection of our broader society, and because Bravo’s shows in particular have an uncanny way of tapping into the zeitgeist (I knew Donald Trump would win the 2024 election after just a few months of post-Scandoval fan discourse, rank with dehumanization and misogny disguised as girlbossery as it was), this phenomenon has found its way into reality television as well.
It’s rare that any of the terms are used correctly. “Gaslighting” is deployed to describe any form of manipulation or dishonesty; anyone with an overinflated ego labeled a “narcissist”; “boundaries” wielded to paper over tactics of control. As stan culture has intensified, therapy-speak has also become a useful cudgel in the war to defend one’s fav.
More often than not, these terms are weaponized to add moral heft to interpersonal conflict, to pathologize one’s enemy du jour as not just annoying or cruel, but abusive. Victimhood is treated like a prize to be won at the carnival. The heady sheen of trauma stops conversations in their tracks, sword and shield against anyone who might dare to disagree with you.
The overuse of these terms not only makes arguments tedious to watch, it dilutes their meaning. So when an episode of television provides such stark depictions of abuse, it’s especially jarring to remember that this is what all the misused therapy-speak is actually describing. Between Jax and Jesse, we are getting a masterclass in how to spot DARVO — a manipulation tactic used by perpetrators of abuse to Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — and through Brittany and Michelle, a test of whether the fanbase can recognize harm done to people they do not like.
Let’s get some lighter fare out of the way first. Janet doubles down on her “Kristen-and-Zack-wished-a-late-term-miscarriage-on-me” storyline. After her failed attempt to extract an apology from Kristen, Janet’s decided that the best thing to do is to try and soften her accusation to “Kristen wasn’t supportive of me during her pregnancy.”
Unfortunately for Janet, the editors are ready with her actual words: “I wanted…to surround myself with people that wanted to see my pregnancy go to full term and see me become a mom and have a healthy child. I’m pretty certain that is not what Kristen and Zack wanted.” Janet’s commitment to this losing battle is the kind of delusional villainy I wanted to see from her last season, and we can only hope that she continues to live untethered to reality. It’s the comic relief we need.
We also meet Zack’s boyfriend Benji. The two broke up due to uncertainty about their future and Benji’s immigration status, but in a sweet FaceTime, decide to give it a real shot and move in together. We don’t know much about Benji except that he’s separated but still married, and is in danger of being deported to Canada after his visa renewal was denied. But all that really matters to me is that Benji is willing to film, which automatically places him above Morgan Wade, Cass Bird, and Turner Kufe in the Bravo Significant Others Power Ranking. They joke about getting married by an Elvis impersonator in a Cheetos chapel, which Benji points out will complement Zack’s fake tan. It’s cute and nice!
Less cute and nice is the continued fighting between our divorced couples. Once again, Michelle and Jesse are used as a harrowing lead-in to the even more harrowing situation at Brittany and Jax’s. We check in with Jesse first as he tries to get in touch with Michelle so he can FaceTime Isabella. In an incredible bit of editing, we cut to Isabella on FaceTime with New Boyfriend Aaron instead. “I love you! I love you!” she coos at her new daddy, interspersed with clips of Jesse sadly staring at his silent phone, waiting for a response that does not come.
Some time later, Michelle arrives to talk to Jesse, purportedly about their coparenting schedule. Jesse’s true motivation is to harangue Michelle and use their shared screen time to paint himself as a struggling single dad who just wants to spend as much time as possible with his daughter. Unfortunately for Jesse, he torpedoes his narrative immediately when he reveals that he’s leaving town during his next stretch of days with Isabella, instructing Michelle to leave their daughter with the nanny. “What nanny?” Michelle reasonably wants to know. “It doesn’t matter,” Jesse replies. Father of the year.
Jesse’s tactic seems to be to remain as calm as possible to portray himself as the reasonable one, laying traps and bait for Michelle that she can’t resist taking. One example: He starts to cry when discussing where Isabella will be for this year’s holidays. “You LOVE to cry,” Michelle replies, unmoved. She says he tries to make her seem cold and emotionless to garner sympathy, which sounds spot-on. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jesse agreed to one thing off-camera and said another on-camera to get a rise out of Michelle, and so far it appears to be working.
Perhaps realizing that they’ve come to the end of their scheduled filming time, the ex-Lallys wrap up the fight as abruptly as it began: “Okay, whatever,” Jesse says. “Thank you for coming by.” Michelle gives him a curt nod and heads out. It’s a bizarrely corporate resolution, but also revealing: These are old fights, waged a thousand times, and this latest spat is more for us to learn Michelle and Jesse’s patterns than for the couple to break new ground. I half-expected them to shake hands and exchange business cards before parting ways.
(Of note: At one point, Jesse calls Lady Gaga’s and Seth Rogen’s favorite Vanderpump cast member, Scheana Shay, to confirm that Jesse’s new “friend in Orange County” told multiple people at a party that she’s currently hooking up with a Baywatch guy. I hope it’s Hasselhoff, and I really hope we get more ScheaShu on our screens very soon.)
The real centerpiece of the episode is an all-out brawl between Jax and Brittany, the first time the two have interacted since the season began. The editors put together a “things are bleak” montage to set the scene: a three of spades playing card taped over an indoor camera, all the couples’ framed photos face down or turned around on the bookshelves. Fruit rots on the kitchen counter, a plastic cup with someone’s lipstick on it sits in the fridge. We even linger on a “You’re Still The One” bride-and-groom cross-stitch, a callback to the couple’s painfully on-the-nose choice of wedding song.
It would take 2,000 words to provide a proper blow-by-blow, but here’s the crux of the argument: Jax is being forced by production to enter a mental health facility under threat of losing his spot on The Valley, and for this he blames Brittany for ruining his life.
This, obviously, is insane. Jax not only hurled a coffee table at Brittany, he broke a barstool, and Brittany reveals that he also punched holes in the walls. Jax hammers Brittany over and over and over: yelling that she doesn’t pay bills (she put down 50% of the down payment, supported the couple after they were fired from Vanderpump with money from a Jenny Craig partnership, and still pays property taxes and bills for the house she no longer lived in); that she was “hooking up with a guy for five months” (she briefly dated Julian after she and Jax separated); that she didn’t check on him when he was going through a hard time after his rage spree (do I even need a parenthetical here?). He even has the gall to ask why she stayed in the marriage so long if she was so miserable.
In the midst of the abuse Jax rains down on Brittany’s head, a threat: “Trust me, I have people watching!” he spits, claiming to have gathered “evidence” that she’s lying about the Julian timeline.
Against all odds, Brittany stands her ground. She also outs Jax’s cocaine addiction, imploring him to be honest with the doctors at the facility he’s headed to. In our timeline, Jax announced this substance abuse on Bravo’s Hot Mic podcast, acting like it was his choice to come forward. Now we know that, as with everything Jax does, it was just another clumsy attempt to control the narrative.
Brittany’s honesty, especially coming from a woman who spent the majority of her screen time on Vanderpump defending Jax and covering up his sins, is thrilling to watch. She’s the obvious star of the episode, displaying the brutal honesty and full range of emotion that are my only expectations of a Bravolebrity. Even more impressive is that in doing so, she will surely provide more fodder to those who already hate her. (Brittany has many, many loud critics — the Vanderpump fanbase has long dismissed her as a fan who sought out Jax despite knowing who he was, therefore deserving of whatever he put her through. After all, she chose it, didn’t she?)
Brittany has every incentive to act like she’s over it and moved on. It’s remarkable, even as she counters each one of Jax’s lies, how clear it is that she really loves this guy. Brittany no longer wants to be Jax’s wife, but he’s still Cruz’s father and her family. She still wants to help him, despite everything he’s done to her. It cannot be easy to admit that on camera, nor can it be easy to show exactly how fucked-up and volatile her breakup really is.
I spent last season of Vanderpump Rules watching with increasing boredom as Ariana hid behind therapy-speak to avoid processing her emotions on camera. Actively troubling was the way the public lapped it up as brave and powerful. It spoke volumes about the kind of woman we are comfortable with, about how much we want to be lied to, to believe that a woman filled with rage (as she should have been) was actually stoic and unflappable.
But as I wrote last season, there is no liberation in that deception, only self-betrayal. Brittany is unexpectedly modeling a different way. She’s no longer pretending everything is nice and neat when it’s not. She’s not denying that she still cares about Jax. She’s hurt, and scared, and furious, and desperately wants the father of her son to be okay. None of that is easy to admit, all of it will open her up to further criticism from the public, and she’s sharing it anyway. From that honesty springs real, undeniable power. What can you hurl at someone who’s bared it all? Nothing.
There are plenty of valid reasons to dislike Brittany, and for that matter, Michelle. They are perfect examples of imperfect victims, women who have done objectionable things in their own right. Their former partners, doubtless aware that we live in a society where likability and desirability are proxy for whether or not a woman deserves abuse, are working hard to make us believe that their ex-wives brought this mistreatment upon themselves. But it seems The Valley is begging us to focus our energy on the source of the problem, and one can only hope that the viewers get the message.